On life being traumatic and the myth of normalcy…
We tend to think of trauma as having to do with people who've been to war or suffered terrible abuse in their past. What we don't collectively realise (but I believe are waking up to) is that our basic standard of reality in the current world is trauma-inducing....
On love without attachment…
I've witnessed a lot of people talking about the importance of love without attachment - especially in neo tantra and polyamory scenes - and this is creating what I believe is a lot of spiritual bypassing, shame and misunderstanding. Let's get things in perspective:...
Everything begins with me
Everything begins in my body... What would intimately connecting with others be like if we came from a place of being saturated with the simple yet profound pleasure of feeling at home in our body? What if through our own presence penetrating our cells, turning...
On falling in love and abandoning oneself
There is nothing quite like falling in love to show you where you are abandoning yourself... When we feel disconnected or hurt or resentful because we let our partner cross a boundary, or realise we are manipulating or controlling in order to get love, or ignore what...
On “getting a grip” on Sex
Through the shaming I received around sex growing up, my strategy to feel a sense of ease around it led me to unconsciously battle shame through cultivating a sense that there was nothing I was fazed by. This journey came to a head when I found myself on a porn set in...
On Interbeing
More and more in daily life, I have little moments of realising how much suffering it causes me and the world around me, to experience myself as an isolated little unit, striving for independence and success in the world. A moment of realising I am getting lost in the...
On the Shadow of Needs
While it's no doubt an important and vital movement, coming into contact with our needs, it feels important to address some of the shadowier aspects of this, that often seem to lie beyond our awareness. We have a cultural blindspot around the necessity to be connected...
Why so much focus on sex and intimacy?
What if one reason we struggle in our intimate life, is because we're wanting to get all our needs met from that one place? Perhaps the reason we put so much value, and hence so much strain on romantic and sexual relationships is because we are disconnected from the...
On using vulnerability as a marketing tool
While it can be touching to see social media used for intimate revelations, when it's connected to promoting a service or an offering, it’s still a marketing ploy, and smells of something quite twisted and manipulative, although I imagine it’s quite unconscious for...
On living in an intentional community and ‘happiness’
On living in an intentional community and 'happiness' 'Community' taps so deeply into the zeitgeist of today, promising the possibilities of connection, collaboration, togetherness and belonging that so many of us are hungry for in this world. Someone asked the other...